The kids' behavior?
My mood?
Evan's mood?
If it's grocery day?
The weather?
How many times the phone rings?
Good food?
How much laundry there is it wash?
The number of good pictures I end up with?
New toys?
Whether Chloe naps?
Maybe it's not whether it's good or bad, but rather exhausting or easy. Maybe that's a better way to describe it. Today was good. And easy... so far. I'm enjoying our kids despite their sometimes rotten behavior. I'm enjoying the weather even though it's muggy and rainy (we were outside in it anyway). There was no schedule for lunch or nap today but it was ok. There was a lot of fighting over a few of the new toys but the kids worked it out. No laundry to wash, dishes are done, no phone calls to return...
Maybe it could be a combination of the answers to all those questions and how many are positive answers. But all in all I am realizing that my mood really is at the top of the list for a reason. My mood is the only thing I truly have control over. If I let my mood control me, it is all over.
After Chloe was born I dealt with depression... serious depression. I really couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel of hard work and the overwhelming sense of pressure I felt this tiny girl was putting on me to care for her every minute of the day. No one knew about my struggle, but a few could see that I had no joy anymore.
After 18 months of living that way, God's Word set me free and I am joy-full once again. I started this blog around that time -- this blog forces me to look at life more positively. It forces me to see our children the way I present them to others... the way the really are. They are beautiful and they are gifts from God, and now I can get on with enjoying them everyday. My mood is ultimately my choice, and I can never let the enemy (the very real enemy) of my soul steal my joy ever again. I had let it go and now I have reclaimed it. Some days are more of a fight than others, but I now always have my joy.
Father of Spirits,Thank You for the gift of Chloe!!
She came from you!!
Posted by Bree
8 comments:
now i just cry when i read your blog. thanks for your honesty. i'm so thankful for you!
God is good...very good :)
Your post just brought tears to my eyes. It was honest and beautiful. I had no idea the struggle you went through after Chloe was born. I am so glad that you were able to find strength from the one who can give it ALL to us. As Emma would say...He's awwweeesooommmme!
Have you noticed that your joy makes many others happy as well? Very cool!
Chloe is a beautiful gift, and I'm glad you're now able to enjoy her! I struggle daily, too, with Michael. Especially today. Your post came at just the right time to help me through this day! Little ones are tough on our moods, but they are well worth the hassle...thanks for the reminder!
Always remember, too, that you don't have to struggle alone. When your're that far down, you can't pray for yourself - and that's where the body of Christ comes in. Find one or two that you know you can trust, and share it and allow them to pray for you. That's how I made it through!
beautiful!! and chloe is precious.
thank you for sharing your link. =)
I like to remind myself that there is no such thing as a bad day, only bad moments. It keeps each moment in perspective and allows me the freedom to move on from my failures. May God abundantly bless you and yours.
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